Showing posts with label Non Veg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Non Veg. Show all posts

July 11, 2012

.....aur Sardar Ji Fas Gaye

Sardar aur uski wife chalti car me hi chudaai ke mud me aa gaye.. Apne apne kapde utaare aur chalti gaadi me sex shuru kar dia..
Achanak car ka accident ho gaya.. Sardar buri tarah se crushed gaadi me fas gya, uski wife bahar nikal gayi,
sardar bola- preeto, ja bhag kar kahi se help ke liye kisi ko bula kar laa.
Prito- aise hi nangi kaise jau?
Sardar (sochne ke baad) - Ek kaam kar, meri pagdi Choot pe laga le, aur jute gaand pe laga le.
Prito ne aisa hi kiya aur waha se chali gayi, ek mechanic shop tak pahuchi aur ek admi ko boli…
Prito- Bhai saab plz meri help karo, Sardar ji bahut buri tarah se fase huye hain, unhe nikalne me meri help kijiye..wo buri tarah fase hain…
Worker prito ke aage lagi pagdi and piche jute dekh kar bola -
Worker- Madam wo to dikh hi raha hai kitni buri tarah fase hue hain, nikaalne me help to kar dunga, par pehle ye to batao ye pura andar ghuse kaise ???....

June 16, 2012

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day


10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and prayfor breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

June 15, 2012

Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

June 14, 2012

A New One Joke

Give Me a Kiss!!!!!

One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to wish
each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a
little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at
her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ......... .......

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you .. "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's
older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a
sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's
sake and all of ours....

"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"

Aadab Arz Hai...

-->
Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......
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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......
 .
To Chaand Tarey Todna to Chhoti Baat Hai.........
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.Hum to Pariyon Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Ungli Kar Aatey....!!!!

June 13, 2012

Bechara Ladkaaaaaaaaaaaa


There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles aroundyour penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure."
The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure.
"So what's the good news?" he asks.
The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?"
The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it."
So the doctor performs the operation.
A few weeks later, the guy takes hisgirlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. Whilesitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.
Seeking relief, he reaches down andunzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.
Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.
"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend,"That was impressive! Can you do that again?"
Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably...But I don't know if Ican fit another dinner roll up my ass!"

Name in English

man goes for a job interview.

Interviewer : "Can you please write your name for me in English,

here on this paper"

The man writes his name and passes the piece of paper back to the

interviewer.

Interviewer : "Are you sure this is your name?"


Man : "Of course I am sure that this is my name"

Interviewer " So your name is....PRETTY RED KNICKERS?"

Man : "Well sir, you told me to write my name in English, but in

Punjabi my name is SUNDAR LAL CHADHA."

Joke of the DAY!!!

College Wali MASALEDAR....
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Office Wali FIKKI.....
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Ghar Wali Me TASTE NAHI AATA......
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Hotel Wali To MAST Hoti Hai.....
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Sudhar Jao KAMINO!!!
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Mai Chaye (TEA) Ki Baat Kar Raha Hu......

Boobbbbbbbbbbbbbbssssssssss

Sante Ne Bante Se Pucha: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Life Mein Kisi Aurat Ke Boobs Choose Hai?
Banta: “Nahi Yaar, Kabhi Moka Nahi Laga
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Santa: “To Bhonsdi Ke Kya Tu Apne Baap Ke Tatte Choos Ke Bada Hua Hai?

June 04, 2012

Naari Shakti

Que: Naari Ka Matlab Kya Hota Hai ???

Ans.: Naari Ka Matlab Hai "Shakti".

Que.: To Phir.... Purash Ka Matlab Kya Hota Hai ???

 Ans.: Very Simple.....
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Purash Ka Matlab Hota Hai...........
 
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. "Sehan Shakti"

May 24, 2012

Lady & Baba Ji

Lady to Baba Ji - Maharaj Mere Santan Nahi Ho Rahi!!

Baba Ji -  Panty Koun Se Colour Ki Pehnti Ho?

Lady - Red Colour Ki.

Baba Ji - Panty GREEN Colour ki Pehna Karo, Signal "ON" Rahega Tabhi Santan Hogi.

March 23, 2012

Dirty Joke of the Day - 2

Ek aadmi govt job ke liye interview dene gaya. Interviewer -
Aapki koi majburi to nahi?
Aadmi:- ji sir, asal me pehle main fauj me tha, jung ke dauraan
meri taango ke darmiyaan ek bomb phata aur mere TATTE ud gaye.!
Interviewer:- Ye to koi problem nahi...Monday se aap join kare.
Hum sab 9 baje aate hai, aap 11 baje aana.
Aadmi:-aisa kyun?
Interviewer:- Hum sab 11 baje tak kuch nahi karte,
bas TATTE khujlate rehte hai


July 15, 2011

Small Things.......

IMPORTANCE OF SMALL THINGS IN LIFE....


Some Times Small
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Things in Life Hurts a Lot.......
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If You Do Not Agree
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With Me..........
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TRY TO "SIT" ON A PIN.

December 14, 2010

Banta ki Biwi

Santa Ek Din Bada Confuse Sa Thha Aur Usne Banta Se Pucha

Santa: “Yaar Teri Biwi Chalu Hai, Mujhe Hamesha Dekh Ke Muskurati Rahti Hai?

Banta: “Oye Nahi Yaar Esa Kuch Nahi Hai, Usne Mujhse Suhagraat Pe Puchha Tha, Kya Mene Kabhi Kisi Ki Gaand Mari Hai, To Maine Tera Naam Le Diya Tha

Boobbbbbbbbbbbbbbssssssssss

Sante Ne Bante Se Pucha: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Life Mein Kisi Aurat Ke Boobs Choose Hai?

Banta: “Nahi Yaar, Kabhi Moka Nahi Laga
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Santa: “To Bhonsdi Ke Kya Tu Apne Baap Ke Tatte Choos Ke Bada Hua Hai?

Gand Ka Dard!!!

Santa Apni Biwi Ki Gand (Back Side) Maar Raha Tha.

Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi: “Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard Ho Raha Hai

Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: “Aye Chalaak Na Ban! Mujko Pata Hai Kitna Dard Hota Hai

February 03, 2010

Before & After "SHAADI"

Abhi shaadi ka pehla hi saal tha,
Khushi ke maare mera bura haal tha,
Khushiyaan kuchh yun umad rahin thi,
Ki sambhale nahi sambhal rahi thi ..
Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana
Thoda sharmate huye humein neend se jagana,
Wo pyaar bhara hath hamare baalon mein phirana,
Muskurate huye kehna ki..
Darling chai to pi lo, Jaldi se ready ho jao, Aap ko office bhi hai jaana.
Gharwali bhagwan ka roop Le kar aayee thi,
Dil aur dimag par poori tarah chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete they to naam usee ka hota tha,
I pal bhi door jeena dushwar hota tha..

******

5 saal baad........

Subah subah madam ka chai Le kar aana,
Table par rakh kar jor se chillana,
Aaj office jao to munna ko
School chodte hue jana...
Suno ek baar phir wohi awaaj aayi,
Kya baat hai abhi tak chhodi nahi charpayee,
Agar munna late ho gaya to dekh Lena,
Munna ki teachers ko phir khud hi sambhaal Lena..
Na Jane gharwali kaisa roop Le kar aayi thi,
Dil aur dimaag par kaali ghata chhayee thi,
Saans bhi lete hain to unhi ka khayal hota hai,
Ab har samay jehan mein ek hi sawal hota hai..
Kya kabhi who din laut ke aayenge,
Hum ek baar phir kunwaare Ho jaayenge.... ...!

January 28, 2010

Police Nahi Pakdti Kya??

Ek British Tourist ne India Me ek Sardar ko Sadak K Kinare Su-Su Karte Dekh aur usse puchcha - Yahan Police Nahi Pakadti Kya?
Sardar - (Roni Surat Bana K) - Nahi G, Yahan Khud Apna Pakad Kar Karna Padta Hai.

January 08, 2010

Romatic Budha

Ek Din Ek Budha Romantic Mood Mein Apni Biwi Se Bola

Darling, Main Tumhare Liye Aasmaan Se Taare Tod Launga

Budhi: “Benchod, Muh Se Mungfuli To Todi Nahi Jaati Aur Gaa.Nd Se Akhrot Todne Ke Sapne Dekh Raha Hai

December 11, 2009

HUSBANDS FOR SALE ! !

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .. . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but
you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth :):):):):). ....