Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

A New One Joke

Give Me a Kiss!!!!!

One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to wish
each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a
little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at
her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ......... .......

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you .. "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's
older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a
sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's
sake and all of ours....

"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"

Aadab Arz Hai...

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......
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To Chaand Tarey Todna to Chhoti Baat Hai.........

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.Hum to Pariyon Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Ungli Kar Aatey....!!!!

Name in English

man goes for a job interview.

Interviewer : "Can you please write your name for me in English,

here on this paper"

The man writes his name and passes the piece of paper back to the

interviewer.

Interviewer : "Are you sure this is your name?"


Man : "Of course I am sure that this is my name"

Interviewer " So your name is....PRETTY RED KNICKERS?"

Man : "Well sir, you told me to write my name in English, but in

Punjabi my name is SUNDAR LAL CHADHA."

Why Gals Wear Flower Printed Panties?

Ever Wonder Why Women's /Gals Wear Panties with Printed Flowers ?
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Its a way to Saying "Come Please Water My Garden With Your PIPE"
:)

Exclusive Joke of Munni.........

Exclusive Joke of Munni.........

Kallu flirting with Munni...

Kallu - pee lun tere nile-nile naino ki shabnam................

pee lun tere gile-gile hoto Ki sargam.......................

Munni - Abe in dono ke beech mein NAAK bhi aati hai.
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Vo bhi pee k dekh..

To Munni Badnam Ho Jayegi Dearling Tere Liye...........

Expiry Date of Condom

Santa Apni Wife Se Sex Karne Laga To Wife Ne Usko Bola

Wife: “Sunoji, Aap Is Condom Se 15v Baar Kar Rahe Ho, Ab Bas Bhi Karo.”

Santa: “Aye, Tu Pagal Ho Gayi Hai Kya?

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Ispe Expiry Date To August 2011 Hai“

Santa in USA

Santa Ki Relation Mein Uske Mama USA Mein Thhe, Unhone Santa Ko Gaanv Se USA Bulaya Taki Vo Bhi Kuch Paisi Kama Sake.

Santa USA Pahuncha To Mama Bada Khush Hua Ki Chalo Yahan Angrejo Ke Sath Rah Ke Kuch Seekh Jayega

Mama Ne Socha Ki Aaj Iska First Day Hai Kisi Ache Se Hotel Mein Thehrata Hun.

Five Star Hotel Mein Room Dilva Ke Mama Kuch Saman Lene Chale Gaye.

Piche Se Santa Ko Bade Jor Se Potty Aayi Jaisi Hi Bathroom Mein Gussa To English Seat Dekh Ke Confuse Ho Gaya Ki Latrine Kaisi Karu

Kafi Dimag Lagane Ke Baad Usko Idea Aya Usne Bag Mein Se Ek Polythin Nikala Aur Usmein Potty Karke Band Kar Diya.

Ab Usne Socha Ki Isko Fenku Kaha Yaha To Sab Saaf Saaf Hai Gaanv Hota To Sadak Pe Fenk Deta.

Itne Mein Light Chali Gayi Aur Usne Socha Ki Main Fan Ke Ek Par (Wing) Pe Rakh Deta Hun. Usne Aisa Hi Kiya

Par Fan Ka Swtich Off Karna Bhul Gaya, Aur Itne Mein Genset Chal Gaya Aur Pankha Fir Chal Gaya.

To Sari Potty Deewaro Par Aur Chatt (Roof) Pe Lag Gayi. Ye Dekh Ke Santa Ke Hosh Udd Gaye.

Usne Fatafat Room Service Wale Ko Bulaya Aur Bola Ki: “Ye 100$ Pakad Aur In Sab Ko Saaf Kar De Jaldi Se”

Room Boy Hairani Se Bola: “Sir Ji, Main Aapko 500$ Deta Hun, Par Mujhe Bas Ye Bata Do Ki Ye Sab Kiya Kaisi“

Santa Ki Problm!

Santa To Doctor: “Main Susu Subha 6 Baje Karta Hu Aur Potty 7 Baje Karta Hu.”

Doctor: “Phir Isme Problem Kya Hai?”

Santa: “Doctor Saab, Par Meri Aankh Subha 8 Baje Khulti Hai.“

Aaj Kal Ke Bachche

Teacher Class Mein: “Bachho, Jimmedari Pe Ek Sentance Banao”

Santa: “Madam Ji, Agar Apke Blause Ke 4 Me Se 3 Batan Tut Jaye,
To Sari "Jimmedari" Sirf Ek Batan Par Hogi.“

HUSBANDS FOR SALE ! !

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch .. . .. you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but
you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.

The second floor sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.

The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!

Please send this to all men for a good laugh and to all the women who can handle the truth :):):):):). ....

Taliban & Santa

Santa Caught by Taliban.
Talibani (To Santa) - Islam Kabul Karo, Warna Gala Kaat diya jayega.
Santa - Yaar ye v ajeeb dharam hai, Kabul karo to Lulli Kat dete ho, na karo to Gardan!!!

Ran Chod Kar Sandaas

At Heathrow airport, an announcement goes out over the Public Address system:
'Mr.Rand Chod Kar Sandaas ! Mr. Rand Chod Kar Sandaas - please report to the Reception desk'.

Ranchhodbhai Karsandas, who has just arrived from Surat, goes red with anger.
He goes to the reception, and shouts loudly to the English receptionist.

The following conversation must go into the history books of cock-ups:

Ranchhodbhai: 'Madar Chod ! I am Ranchhod.... .....

Receptionist: 'Mr. Madar Chod Rand Chod ? Sir, that is not the name I have here..
I have Mr. Rand Chod Kar Sandaas..... .....

Ranchhodbhai: 'Arrey Bhenchod ! I am NOT Madar chod!!!'

Receptionist: 'So are you Mr. R.A. Ben or Mr. R.A. Chod? Is your surname Ben or Chod ?'

Ranchhodbhai: (now really really pissed off) 'Chootia teri ! I am Ranchhod.... ....'

Receptionist: 'Excellent sir, so who is Chootia Teri then ???'

Whereupon, a Chinese gentleman ambles up to the Reception and asks: 'Were you calling me?'

Receptionist: 'Now, who are you?'

Chinese: 'I am Choo Tia......'

Ranchhodbhai decides to fly back to Surat!!!!

Son : 5 Rs.do
Dad : Right jeb se le le (Jeb fati thi lun son k hath me aa gya)
SON : Nai hai
DAD : Left jeb dekh (wo jeb v fati thi, phir lun son k hath main aa gaya)
SON : Budhe k pass Paisa 1 v nahi. Lun 2-2 rakhe huye Hain.

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New Dirty Joke

Q.: Ladki aur Car Main Kya Difference hai ?
A.: Car Kharab ho jaye to ruk jati hai
Agar Ladki Kharab ho jaye to Chalu ho jati hai...

Brand New Shiney Jokes

What is shiney's favourite movie?
Luck `Bai' Chance.

What does Shiney like to ride the most?
Bai-cycle

Which song did Shiney sing with N'Sync
Bai Bai Bai

What is Shiney's fav bedroom line?
Am a Good Boy. You be a GOOD BAI!

What is Shiney's sexual orientation?
He is Bai-Sexual

Who is Shiney's fav football player
'Bai'chung Bhutia

What's Shiney Ahuja's favorite song?
Maid in India

What kind of food does Shiney like
Home Maid

Shiney's maid refused to clean the utensils spotlessly because she is scared of everything shiney.

Dr. SHWETA BANG

HOLLA

Teach to New Student - Whts ur Name ?
Studen - Sir My Name is HOLLA!
Teacher - Whts type of this ?
Student - Sir i was born on Holli so my parents take my Name "HOLLA".
Teacher - Shukar hai tu "Lohdi" k din Paida Nahi hua tha!!!

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Sum Jokes

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted.. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.
............ ......
* Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy's hand......
............ ......... ..
* Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath.
Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked "Why"?
The animals told him......... .."Your tail is in the front"

Santre (Oranges)

Man to a Lady, " apne santray sambhaliyeji they disturb me."
Angrily she replies," Tumko kya, santray mere hain. "
Man :" haan! par juice to mera nikal raha hai naa! "