Nonveg Joke of The Day - Santa Aur Bakri

Ek Din Santa Mele me Gaya.
Wahan 2 Line Lagi Thi. Ek Line ke Aage Likha Tha "Dekhne ke 20/- Rs."
Dusri Linke ke Aage Likha Tha "Karne ke 10/- Rs."
Santa Ne Karne ki Ticket Le Li.
Ander usko Karne ke Liye Bakri Di Gayi.
Santa Ne Paise Wasulne ke Liye Bakri ki Le Li.

Next Day, Santa ne Dekhne ki Ticket Li.
Santa Ne Aage wale Admi Ko Pucha -
Santa : "Kyu Bhai, Ye Kya Dikhayege?"
Admi : "Aaj ka To Pata Nahi, Kal Ek Sardar Ko Bakri Ki Lete Hue Dikhaya Tha!!!".
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Bechara Sata!!!

Gand Me Ungli????

Jab Santa Fauj Mein Tha To Uso Sharat Laganey Ki Bahut Buri Aadat Thi Aur Sabhi Us Se Preshan Rehte The.

Ek Din Santa Major Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola -

Santa : "Sir, Yeh Meri Aakhiri Sharat Hai, Aur Woh Main Aapke Sath Lagana Chahta Hun."

Major Khishi- Khushi Raji Ho Gaya, aur Bola- 

Major : "Bolo, Kya Sharat Hai?"

Santa : "Apko Bwaseer Hai".

Major : Main Sharat Lagata Hun Ke Nahi Hai".

Santa : "Main Ungli Daal Kar Check Karuga".

Major Khushi-Khushi Maan Gaya Aur Dono Me 5,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lag Gayi.

Santa Ne Major Ki "GAAND ME UNGLI" Daal Di.

Tabhi Bahar Se Jor Jor Se Rone Ki Aawaz Aane Lagi.

Major Pant Pehan Kar Bahar Gaya Aur Poocha-

Major : "Kya Hua?"

Staff : "Sir, Isne Humse 50,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lagai Thi Ki Major Ki Gaand Me Ungli Daal Ke Dikhaunga!"

.....aur Sardar Ji Fas Gaye

Sardar aur uski wife chalti car me hi chudaai ke mud me aa gaye.. Apne apne kapde utaare aur chalti gaadi me sex shuru kar dia..
Achanak car ka accident ho gaya.. Sardar buri tarah se crushed gaadi me fas gya, uski wife bahar nikal gayi,
sardar bola- preeto, ja bhag kar kahi se help ke liye kisi ko bula kar laa.
Prito- aise hi nangi kaise jau?
Sardar (sochne ke baad) - Ek kaam kar, meri pagdi Choot pe laga le, aur jute gaand pe laga le.
Prito ne aisa hi kiya aur waha se chali gayi, ek mechanic shop tak pahuchi aur ek admi ko boli…
Prito- Bhai saab plz meri help karo, Sardar ji bahut buri tarah se fase huye hain, unhe nikalne me meri help kijiye..wo buri tarah fase hain…
Worker prito ke aage lagi pagdi and piche jute dekh kar bola -
Worker- Madam wo to dikh hi raha hai kitni buri tarah fase hue hain, nikaalne me help to kar dunga, par pehle ye to batao ye pura andar ghuse kaise ???....

Non Veg Joke of the Day........

A lady made an advertisment in newspaper,-

"I want a man to be my partner..
Conditions 3..
1. He will not beat me,
2. He will not run away.
3 and most important.- He will have to satistfy me in beds,whenever i want.
10 inch will be good enough"


After some hour her door bell rang.
She opened door and saw a man on wheelchair who doesnt even have hands and forearms..

Lady- who are u?
Man- I was in army and lost my hands and one leg in battle..
Anyways i am here regarding your advertisement..
Lady- How can you fit in my conditions?
Man- Look i dont have hands and forearms, so i can't beat you...
I am not on my legs, so i can't run away..
Lady- Ok, but what about the 3rd condition? How wil u satistfy me? Do u have 10 inch big?
Man- What the hell with women's mind, can't you women use ur brain.
What the fuck you think, "That HOW THAT DOOR BELL RANG.."

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and prayfor breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

A New One Joke

Give Me a Kiss!!!!!

One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to wish
each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a
little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at
her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ......... .......

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you .. "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's
older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a
sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's
sake and all of ours....

"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"

Aadab Arz Hai...

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......
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To Chaand Tarey Todna to Chhoti Baat Hai.........

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.Hum to Pariyon Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Ungli Kar Aatey....!!!!

Bechara Ladkaaaaaaaaaaaa

There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles aroundyour penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure."
The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure.
"So what's the good news?" he asks.
The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?"
The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it."
So the doctor performs the operation.
A few weeks later, the guy takes hisgirlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. Whilesitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.
Seeking relief, he reaches down andunzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.
Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.
"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend,"That was impressive! Can you do that again?"
Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably...But I don't know if Ican fit another dinner roll up my ass!"

Name in English

man goes for a job interview.

Interviewer : "Can you please write your name for me in English,

here on this paper"

The man writes his name and passes the piece of paper back to the

interviewer.

Interviewer : "Are you sure this is your name?"


Man : "Of course I am sure that this is my name"

Interviewer " So your name is....PRETTY RED KNICKERS?"

Man : "Well sir, you told me to write my name in English, but in

Punjabi my name is SUNDAR LAL CHADHA."

Joke of the DAY!!!

College Wali MASALEDAR....
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Office Wali FIKKI.....
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Ghar Wali Me TASTE NAHI AATA......
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Hotel Wali To MAST Hoti Hai.....
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Sudhar Jao KAMINO!!!
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Mai Chaye (TEA) Ki Baat Kar Raha Hu......

Boobbbbbbbbbbbbbbssssssssss

Sante Ne Bante Se Pucha: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Life Mein Kisi Aurat Ke Boobs Choose Hai?”
Banta: “Nahi Yaar, Kabhi Moka Nahi Laga”
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Santa: “To Bhonsdi Ke Kya Tu Apne Baap Ke Tatte Choos Ke Bada Hua Hai?“

Naari Shakti

Que: Naari Ka Matlab Kya Hota Hai ???

Ans.: Naari Ka Matlab Hai "Shakti".

Que.: To Phir.... Purash Ka Matlab Kya Hota Hai ???

 Ans.: Very Simple.....

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Purash Ka Matlab Hota Hai...........

 

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. "Sehan Shakti"

Lady & Baba Ji

Lady to Baba Ji - Maharaj Mere Santan Nahi Ho Rahi!!

Baba Ji -  Panty Koun Se Colour Ki Pehnti Ho?

Lady - Red Colour Ki.

Baba Ji - Panty GREEN Colour ki Pehna Karo, Signal "ON" Rahega Tabhi Santan Hogi.

SEXY SHAMPOOS

Lady (to Shopkeeper) - 1 Shampoo Plz...

Shopkeeper - Koun Sa???

Agar HEAD k Baal Dhone Hai To "HEAD N SHOULDER".

Agar PANTY ke Baal Dhone Hai To " PANTENE" Le Lo...

Lady - "GARNIER" De Do - Gaand Dhoni Hai....

Punjabi Adult Joke - Ladka Ladki Ki Tarkrar

Ladki (Ladke Se) - Main tenu chhad ke ja rahi aa...! 
                                 Menu Bhool Jai...!!

Ladka -  Na Tere Aane Ki Khusi, 
              Na Tere Jane Ka Gum....


             Fuddi Teri Le Lai,
             Dafa Ho Teri Bhen Di Lun.....

Adult Joke of The Day - Istri Garam Hai ......

Police Station Mein Dhobi Ne Santa Ke Khliaf Complaint Ki.

Dobhi Rote Hue Bola : “Is Saale Sante Ne Meri Biwi Ki Ijjat Lutt Li”

Police Wala: “Kyu Be, Kyu Kiya Tune Esa?”

Santa: “Sir Ji, Meri Koi Galti Nahi Hai. Main To Kapde Press Karvane Gaya Thha”.

Police Wala: “Fir?”

Santa: “Mene Isko Awaj Lagayi To Ye Bola Ki, Main Khana Kha Raha Hun Istri Garam Hai Khud Maar Lo“

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Aur Maine Chakk Te Fattttttttttte.......