ठंडी स्पेशल ~

बीवी बाथरूम से नहाकर निकली 

तो उसका पति उसे घूर रहा था...

बीवी (रोमांटिक मूड में) : इरादा क्या है जनाब ???

पति ने दो थप्पड़ खिंच के मारे और बोला 

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"मेरे गरम पानी से क्यूँ नहाईं" ??

Adult Joke of the Day

A husband and his wife 

are ready to go to sleep.

The husband lies on the bed 

but the wife lies down on the floor.
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Husband asks, 
"Why are you going to sleep on the floor?"


Wife replies, 

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"Because I want to feel something 
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HARD for a change!"

.....aur Sardar Ji Fas Gaye

Sardar aur uski wife chalti car me hi chudaai ke mud me aa gaye.. Apne apne kapde utaare aur chalti gaadi me sex shuru kar dia..
Achanak car ka accident ho gaya.. Sardar buri tarah se crushed gaadi me fas gya, uski wife bahar nikal gayi,
sardar bola- preeto, ja bhag kar kahi se help ke liye kisi ko bula kar laa.
Prito- aise hi nangi kaise jau?
Sardar (sochne ke baad) - Ek kaam kar, meri pagdi Choot pe laga le, aur jute gaand pe laga le.
Prito ne aisa hi kiya aur waha se chali gayi, ek mechanic shop tak pahuchi aur ek admi ko boli…
Prito- Bhai saab plz meri help karo, Sardar ji bahut buri tarah se fase huye hain, unhe nikalne me meri help kijiye..wo buri tarah fase hain…
Worker prito ke aage lagi pagdi and piche jute dekh kar bola -
Worker- Madam wo to dikh hi raha hai kitni buri tarah fase hue hain, nikaalne me help to kar dunga, par pehle ye to batao ye pura andar ghuse kaise ???....

Non Veg Joke of the Day........

A lady made an advertisment in newspaper,-

"I want a man to be my partner..
Conditions 3..
1. He will not beat me,
2. He will not run away.
3 and most important.- He will have to satistfy me in beds,whenever i want.
10 inch will be good enough"


After some hour her door bell rang.
She opened door and saw a man on wheelchair who doesnt even have hands and forearms..

Lady- who are u?
Man- I was in army and lost my hands and one leg in battle..
Anyways i am here regarding your advertisement..
Lady- How can you fit in my conditions?
Man- Look i dont have hands and forearms, so i can't beat you...
I am not on my legs, so i can't run away..
Lady- Ok, but what about the 3rd condition? How wil u satistfy me? Do u have 10 inch big?
Man- What the hell with women's mind, can't you women use ur brain.
What the fuck you think, "That HOW THAT DOOR BELL RANG.."

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and prayfor breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.

Bechara Ladkaaaaaaaaaaaa

There was a guy who had been having chronic trouble in trying to get an erection. After weeks of frustration, he finally breaks down and goes to the doctor. The doctor gives him a thorough examination and finally makes the diagnosis.
"Well, there's good news and there's bad news," she says. "The bad news is that the muscles aroundyour penis are deteriorating, and there is no cure."
The guy, on the verge of panic, finally regains his composure.
"So what's the good news?" he asks.
The doctor says, "There is an experimental treatment available, but there are no guarantees. It involves transplanting the muscles from a baby elephant's trunk into your penis. Would you like to try it?"
The guy thinks about it and finally says, "Well, the thought of going through life without being able to have sex is just too much for me. What have I got to lose? Let's do it."
So the doctor performs the operation.
A few weeks later, the guy takes hisgirlfriend out to a nice restaurant to celebrate his new equipment. Whilesitting at the table, he feels a stirring between his legs; it gets progressively worse until it reaches the point of being painful.
Seeking relief, he reaches down andunzips his fly to relieve some of the pressure.
Suddenly, his penis leaps free from his pants, slides over the tabletop and grabs a dinner roll, then returns to his pants again.
"Wow!" says his stunned girlfriend,"That was impressive! Can you do that again?"
Eyes watering and face flushed, he says, "Probably...But I don't know if Ican fit another dinner roll up my ass!"

SEXY SHAMPOOS

Lady (to Shopkeeper) - 1 Shampoo Plz...

Shopkeeper - Koun Sa???

Agar HEAD k Baal Dhone Hai To "HEAD N SHOULDER".

Agar PANTY ke Baal Dhone Hai To " PANTENE" Le Lo...

Lady - "GARNIER" De Do - Gaand Dhoni Hai....

Punjabi Adult Joke - Ladka Ladki Ki Tarkrar

Ladki (Ladke Se) - Main tenu chhad ke ja rahi aa...! 
                                 Menu Bhool Jai...!!

Ladka -  Na Tere Aane Ki Khusi, 
              Na Tere Jane Ka Gum....


             Fuddi Teri Le Lai,
             Dafa Ho Teri Bhen Di Lun.....

Chuha Aur Chuhiya???

Psychology ka practical ho raha tha.

Professor ne ek chuhe ke liye ek taraf cake

aur doosri tarf chuhiya rakh di.

Chuha fauran cake ki tarf lapka.

Professor ne doosri baar cake ko badal kar roti rakh di.

Chuha roti ki tarf lapka.

Is tarh kai baar food items badli, magar chuha har baar food ki tarf hi bhaga.

Professor : Bas saabit ho gaya ke bhookh hi sabse badi taqat hai.

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Itne me last row se awaz aai. Sir Ji, ek baar chuhiya bhi badal kar dekho lo!!!