Nonveg Joke of The Day - Santa Aur Bakri

Ek Din Santa Mele me Gaya.
Wahan 2 Line Lagi Thi. Ek Line ke Aage Likha Tha "Dekhne ke 20/- Rs."
Dusri Linke ke Aage Likha Tha "Karne ke 10/- Rs."
Santa Ne Karne ki Ticket Le Li.
Ander usko Karne ke Liye Bakri Di Gayi.
Santa Ne Paise Wasulne ke Liye Bakri ki Le Li.

Next Day, Santa ne Dekhne ki Ticket Li.
Santa Ne Aage wale Admi Ko Pucha -
Santa : "Kyu Bhai, Ye Kya Dikhayege?"
Admi : "Aaj ka To Pata Nahi, Kal Ek Sardar Ko Bakri Ki Lete Hue Dikhaya Tha!!!".
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Bechara Sata!!!

Non Veg Joke of the Day........

A lady made an advertisment in newspaper,-

"I want a man to be my partner..
Conditions 3..
1. He will not beat me,
2. He will not run away.
3 and most important.- He will have to satistfy me in beds,whenever i want.
10 inch will be good enough"


After some hour her door bell rang.
She opened door and saw a man on wheelchair who doesnt even have hands and forearms..

Lady- who are u?
Man- I was in army and lost my hands and one leg in battle..
Anyways i am here regarding your advertisement..
Lady- How can you fit in my conditions?
Man- Look i dont have hands and forearms, so i can't beat you...
I am not on my legs, so i can't run away..
Lady- Ok, but what about the 3rd condition? How wil u satistfy me? Do u have 10 inch big?
Man- What the hell with women's mind, can't you women use ur brain.
What the fuck you think, "That HOW THAT DOOR BELL RANG.."

Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

Aadab Arz Hai...

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......
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To Chaand Tarey Todna to Chhoti Baat Hai.........

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.Hum to Pariyon Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Ungli Kar Aatey....!!!!

Name in English

man goes for a job interview.

Interviewer : "Can you please write your name for me in English,

here on this paper"

The man writes his name and passes the piece of paper back to the

interviewer.

Interviewer : "Are you sure this is your name?"


Man : "Of course I am sure that this is my name"

Interviewer " So your name is....PRETTY RED KNICKERS?"

Man : "Well sir, you told me to write my name in English, but in

Punjabi my name is SUNDAR LAL CHADHA."

Boobbbbbbbbbbbbbbssssssssss

Sante Ne Bante Se Pucha: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Life Mein Kisi Aurat Ke Boobs Choose Hai?”
Banta: “Nahi Yaar, Kabhi Moka Nahi Laga”
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Santa: “To Bhonsdi Ke Kya Tu Apne Baap Ke Tatte Choos Ke Bada Hua Hai?“

Small Things.......

IMPORTANCE OF SMALL THINGS IN LIFE....


Some Times Small
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Things in Life Hurts a Lot.......
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If You Do Not Agree
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With Me..........
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TRY TO "SIT" ON A PIN.

T-Shirt Design

Ladki Ki T-Shirt Par Bane Billi (Cat) Ke Design ko Ek Ladka Badi Der Se Ghoor Raha Tha.

Ladki Ne Poochha : Kabhi Billi Nahi Dekhi Kya?

Ladka : Billi To Dekhi Hai,

Par

Dudh ki Rakhwali Karte Hue Pehli Baar Dekh Raha hooo....

Name of Fruitsssss

Lady Teacher to Kallu : Kisi 11 Fruits k Naam Batao?
Kallu :
2 Aapke Aam
2 Pooja Ke Amrood
2 Shanti Ke Tarbooz
2 Priya Ke Santre
2 Anchal Ke Nimboo
Aur....
1 Mera Kela
:)

Exclusive Joke of Munni.........

Exclusive Joke of Munni.........

Kallu flirting with Munni...

Kallu - pee lun tere nile-nile naino ki shabnam................

pee lun tere gile-gile hoto Ki sargam.......................

Munni - Abe in dono ke beech mein NAAK bhi aati hai.
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Vo bhi pee k dekh..

To Munni Badnam Ho Jayegi Dearling Tere Liye...........

Banta ki Biwi

Santa Ek Din Bada Confuse Sa Thha Aur Usne Banta Se Pucha

Santa: “Yaar Teri Biwi Chalu Hai, Mujhe Hamesha Dekh Ke Muskurati Rahti Hai?”

Banta: “Oye Nahi Yaar Esa Kuch Nahi Hai, Usne Mujhse Suhagraat Pe Puchha Tha, Kya Mene Kabhi Kisi Ki Gaand Mari Hai, To Maine Tera Naam Le Diya Tha“

Boobbbbbbbbbbbbbbssssssssss

Sante Ne Bante Se Pucha: “Oye, Tune Kabhi Life Mein Kisi Aurat Ke Boobs Choose Hai?”

Banta: “Nahi Yaar, Kabhi Moka Nahi Laga”
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Santa: “To Bhonsdi Ke Kya Tu Apne Baap Ke Tatte Choos Ke Bada Hua Hai?“

Expiry Date of Condom

Santa Apni Wife Se Sex Karne Laga To Wife Ne Usko Bola

Wife: “Sunoji, Aap Is Condom Se 15v Baar Kar Rahe Ho, Ab Bas Bhi Karo.”

Santa: “Aye, Tu Pagal Ho Gayi Hai Kya?

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Ispe Expiry Date To August 2011 Hai“

Gand Ka Dard!!!

Santa Apni Biwi Ki Gand (Back Side) Maar Raha Tha.

Us Ki Biwi Chillaane Lag Gayi: “Aah, Aah Mar Gayi Main Nikalo Bada Dard Ho Raha Hai”

Santa Gusse Se Bola Bola: “Aye Chalaak Na Ban! Mujko Pata Hai Kitna Dard Hota Hai“

Santa in USA

Santa Ki Relation Mein Uske Mama USA Mein Thhe, Unhone Santa Ko Gaanv Se USA Bulaya Taki Vo Bhi Kuch Paisi Kama Sake.

Santa USA Pahuncha To Mama Bada Khush Hua Ki Chalo Yahan Angrejo Ke Sath Rah Ke Kuch Seekh Jayega

Mama Ne Socha Ki Aaj Iska First Day Hai Kisi Ache Se Hotel Mein Thehrata Hun.

Five Star Hotel Mein Room Dilva Ke Mama Kuch Saman Lene Chale Gaye.

Piche Se Santa Ko Bade Jor Se Potty Aayi Jaisi Hi Bathroom Mein Gussa To English Seat Dekh Ke Confuse Ho Gaya Ki Latrine Kaisi Karu

Kafi Dimag Lagane Ke Baad Usko Idea Aya Usne Bag Mein Se Ek Polythin Nikala Aur Usmein Potty Karke Band Kar Diya.

Ab Usne Socha Ki Isko Fenku Kaha Yaha To Sab Saaf Saaf Hai Gaanv Hota To Sadak Pe Fenk Deta.

Itne Mein Light Chali Gayi Aur Usne Socha Ki Main Fan Ke Ek Par (Wing) Pe Rakh Deta Hun. Usne Aisa Hi Kiya

Par Fan Ka Swtich Off Karna Bhul Gaya, Aur Itne Mein Genset Chal Gaya Aur Pankha Fir Chal Gaya.

To Sari Potty Deewaro Par Aur Chatt (Roof) Pe Lag Gayi. Ye Dekh Ke Santa Ke Hosh Udd Gaye.

Usne Fatafat Room Service Wale Ko Bulaya Aur Bola Ki: “Ye 100$ Pakad Aur In Sab Ko Saaf Kar De Jaldi Se”

Room Boy Hairani Se Bola: “Sir Ji, Main Aapko 500$ Deta Hun, Par Mujhe Bas Ye Bata Do Ki Ye Sab Kiya Kaisi“

Santa Ki Problm!

Santa To Doctor: “Main Susu Subha 6 Baje Karta Hu Aur Potty 7 Baje Karta Hu.”

Doctor: “Phir Isme Problem Kya Hai?”

Santa: “Doctor Saab, Par Meri Aankh Subha 8 Baje Khulti Hai.“

Kauva To Udd Gaya!!!

Sardar Ji Apne Ghar Se Bahar Nikle Aur Achanak Ek Kauve (Crow) Ne Sardar Ji Ke Sir Per Beeth (Shit) Ker Di

Sardarni Tissue Lekar Bahar Aayi

To Sardar Ji Gusse Se Bole: “Ab Kiski Gaand Saaf Kaaregi, Kauva To Udd Gaya“

Taliban & Santa

Santa Caught by Taliban.
Talibani (To Santa) - Islam Kabul Karo, Warna Gala Kaat diya jayega.
Santa - Yaar ye v ajeeb dharam hai, Kabul karo to Lulli Kat dete ho, na karo to Gardan!!!

Dirty Joke - VIAGRA

The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first pupil said: 'Tylenol.' 'Very good! And what is it used for?' 'It is used for headache.' The second pupil said: 'Nytol' 'Excellent. And what it is used for?' 'To help you sleep.' Now it is Runa's turn and she said: 'Viagra'. what is it used for?' 'I think it can be used for diarrhea.' 'Who told you this?' 'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father, 'Take a Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder.' Runa

Sardarji k Galiyan

A Sardar travelling on an overnight train to Punjab requests the conductor before retiring
"phaji - Ludhiana savere panj vaje aavega - mainu uthe jaroor utha dena interview lai jana hai. Main Kumbkaran de neend sonda hoon, jarurat pade taan jabardasti utar dena" (I have an interview in Ludhaina in the Morning - kick me off the train there if you have to, as I'm a heavy sleeper)

Sardarji wakes up to the sounds of "chai chai" in Amritsar , looks at time - 8.30 AM. He has missed his interview and is very pissed off, finds the conductor and starts swearing at him in the choicest Punjabi galis. This carries on for about 10 minutes. Another passenger says to the Conductor :-

"ye Sardar ji aap ki maa bahen ek kar rahen hain (giving you maa behen ke galiyan) aur aap hain ke sharafat se sune ja rahe hain"

"bhai sahib " responds the conductor "main enke galiyan to sun he nahin raha hoon. Mujhe to un Sardarji ke galiyaan sun rahi hain jinko maine Ludhaine main utaar diya.