Wife To Husband: Agr Dunya Sirf 30 Minutes Me Khatam Ho Rahi Ho Tou Tum KIa Karna Chahoge..... ??Husband: Offcourse "SEX"....!!!

Wife: Aur Baqi 29 Minutes..... .... ??

A New One Joke

Give Me a Kiss!!!!!

One night a guy took his girlfriend home. As they were about to wish
each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a
little in the mood.

With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall
and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"

Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at
her.

"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".

"No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"

"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".

"Oh yes you can. Please?".... ......... .......

"No, no. I just can't"

"I'm begging you .. "

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's
older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a
sleepy voice she said,

"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if
need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's
sake and all of ours....

"TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL!!"

Aadab Arz Hai...

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......

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Agar Aasmaan Tak Mere Haath Jate........ ......... ......
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To Chaand Tarey Todna to Chhoti Baat Hai.........

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.Hum to Pariyon Ki Gaand Mein Bhi Ungli Kar Aatey....!!!!

Name in English

man goes for a job interview.

Interviewer : "Can you please write your name for me in English,

here on this paper"

The man writes his name and passes the piece of paper back to the

interviewer.

Interviewer : "Are you sure this is your name?"


Man : "Of course I am sure that this is my name"

Interviewer " So your name is....PRETTY RED KNICKERS?"

Man : "Well sir, you told me to write my name in English, but in

Punjabi my name is SUNDAR LAL CHADHA."

T-Shirt Design

Ladki Ki T-Shirt Par Bane Billi (Cat) Ke Design ko Ek Ladka Badi Der Se Ghoor Raha Tha.

Ladki Ne Poochha : Kabhi Billi Nahi Dekhi Kya?

Ladka : Billi To Dekhi Hai,

Par

Dudh ki Rakhwali Karte Hue Pehli Baar Dekh Raha hooo....

Santa Ki Problm!

Santa To Doctor: “Main Susu Subha 6 Baje Karta Hu Aur Potty 7 Baje Karta Hu.”

Doctor: “Phir Isme Problem Kya Hai?”

Santa: “Doctor Saab, Par Meri Aankh Subha 8 Baje Khulti Hai.“

Genious Ladka

Ek Maa Apni Beti Ko Samjhate Hue Kehti Hai: “Beti Jis Ladke Ko Tum Chahti Ho Woh Tumahre Liye Theek Nahi Hai”

Beti Boli: Maa Woh Ladka To Genius Hai Pakka Doctor Banega

Usne To Meri Woh Bimaari Bhi Door Ker Di Jo Mujhe Har Mahine Lag Jaati Thi.

Police Nahi Pakdti Kya??

Ek British Tourist ne India Me ek Sardar ko Sadak K Kinare Su-Su Karte Dekh aur usse puchcha - Yahan Police Nahi Pakadti Kya?
Sardar - (Roni Surat Bana K) - Nahi G, Yahan Khud Apna Pakad Kar Karna Padta Hai.

Ladkiyo Ki Izzat

Ladkiyo Ki Sab Se Jyada Izzat Kaun Karta Hai?

Ans: Apna Pappu Yaar, Jo Unko Dekhte Hi Khada Ho Jata Hai

USTAAD???

Ek Gao Main Ek Nahi (Barber) Rehta Tha.
Uska Ek Chela v tha jo us se kaam sikh raha tha.
Chela Nai ko Ustaad Keh kar pukarta tha...
Uske Chele k Shadi Hui...
Phir Suhagraat...

Agle Din Nai Ne Mazak me Chele se puchcha...

Kyun Miya Raat Hume v yaad kiya tha k nahi??

Chela (Sharmate huye) - Kiya tha ustaad.

Nai - Achcha Kaise??

Chela - Maine Kaha, Chal Ustaad, Ghus ja Ander!!

Best Seller Book

Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Taliban & Santa

Santa Caught by Taliban.
Talibani (To Santa) - Islam Kabul Karo, Warna Gala Kaat diya jayega.
Santa - Yaar ye v ajeeb dharam hai, Kabul karo to Lulli Kat dete ho, na karo to Gardan!!!

Dirty Joke - VIAGRA

The lady teacher asks the pupils what kind of medicines they know and what they are used for. The first pupil said: 'Tylenol.' 'Very good! And what is it used for?' 'It is used for headache.' The second pupil said: 'Nytol' 'Excellent. And what it is used for?' 'To help you sleep.' Now it is Runa's turn and she said: 'Viagra'. what is it used for?' 'I think it can be used for diarrhea.' 'Who told you this?' 'Nobody, but every evening my mother tells my father, 'Take a Viagra, maybe that little shit will get harder.' Runa

Sardarji k Galiyan

A Sardar travelling on an overnight train to Punjab requests the conductor before retiring
"phaji - Ludhiana savere panj vaje aavega - mainu uthe jaroor utha dena interview lai jana hai. Main Kumbkaran de neend sonda hoon, jarurat pade taan jabardasti utar dena" (I have an interview in Ludhaina in the Morning - kick me off the train there if you have to, as I'm a heavy sleeper)

Sardarji wakes up to the sounds of "chai chai" in Amritsar , looks at time - 8.30 AM. He has missed his interview and is very pissed off, finds the conductor and starts swearing at him in the choicest Punjabi galis. This carries on for about 10 minutes. Another passenger says to the Conductor :-

"ye Sardar ji aap ki maa bahen ek kar rahen hain (giving you maa behen ke galiyan) aur aap hain ke sharafat se sune ja rahe hain"

"bhai sahib " responds the conductor "main enke galiyan to sun he nahin raha hoon. Mujhe to un Sardarji ke galiyaan sun rahi hain jinko maine Ludhaine main utaar diya.

coincidence

A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne..

The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'

'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.. I am celebrating'

'This is a special day for me too, I am also celebrating!' says the woman.

'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'

'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!'

'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'

'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?'

'I used a different cock,' he replied.

The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

Active-Passive

Teachr-active se pasive me badlo"bache jb sunsan jagho pe jate hai to hadso ko janm dete hai"
studt-sunsan jagho pe hue hadse hi bacho ko janm dete hai

Son : 5 Rs.do
Dad : Right jeb se le le (Jeb fati thi lun son k hath me aa gya)
SON : Nai hai
DAD : Left jeb dekh (wo jeb v fati thi, phir lun son k hath main aa gaya)
SON : Budhe k pass Paisa 1 v nahi. Lun 2-2 rakhe huye Hain.

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New Dirty Joke

Q.: Ladki aur Car Main Kya Difference hai ?
A.: Car Kharab ho jaye to ruk jati hai
Agar Ladki Kharab ho jaye to Chalu ho jati hai...

Brand New Shiney Jokes

What is shiney's favourite movie?
Luck `Bai' Chance.

What does Shiney like to ride the most?
Bai-cycle

Which song did Shiney sing with N'Sync
Bai Bai Bai

What is Shiney's fav bedroom line?
Am a Good Boy. You be a GOOD BAI!

What is Shiney's sexual orientation?
He is Bai-Sexual

Who is Shiney's fav football player
'Bai'chung Bhutia

What's Shiney Ahuja's favorite song?
Maid in India

What kind of food does Shiney like
Home Maid

Shiney's maid refused to clean the utensils spotlessly because she is scared of everything shiney.

Dr. SHWETA BANG

HOLLA

Teach to New Student - Whts ur Name ?
Studen - Sir My Name is HOLLA!
Teacher - Whts type of this ?
Student - Sir i was born on Holli so my parents take my Name "HOLLA".
Teacher - Shukar hai tu "Lohdi" k din Paida Nahi hua tha!!!