Questions & Answers for real fun

Questions & Answers for real fun

Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops.

Q: What is the difference between riding a bicycle and a woman?
A: Riding a bicycle you fix your ass & move your legs, riding a woman you fix your legs & move your ass.

Q: What three things are common between the sun and woman's underwear?
A: Both are hot, both look better while going down and both disappear at night.

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own.

Q: What's common between men and video?
A: Both go backward... forward... backward... forward... backward.... forward... stop and eject.

Q: What is the closest thing similar to a woman's period?
A: Your salary, it comes once a month lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come means you are in big trouble

Q: What goes in dry, comes out wet, and gives warm satisfaction?
A: A teabag.

* 7 qualities to be a perfect wife:
Beautiful,
Responsible
Energetic
Adorable
Sweet
Truthful and
Self-Organized.
In short, she must have good B.R.E.A.S.T. S

Q: Who is a gynecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place, where most people find pleasure.

Q: What is the similarity between men and rats?
A: Both keep searching for new HOLES.

Q: What's the difference between biology and sociology?
A: When the baby looks like his dad, then it is biology. When the baby looks like neighbour, then it is sociology.

Q: What's the height of recycling?
A: Sending a sanitary napkin for dry cleaning.

Doctor: You look so weak & exhausted.. Are you having 3 meals a day as I have advised?
Lady: Doctor, I thought you had said 3 males a day.

* Girl friend & boy friend go for a movie. In the dark, a mosquito enters the girl's skirt. Guess where it would have bitten?
The boy's hand......

* Tarzan and the animals went to the river to take a bath. Tarzan removed his clothes. All the animals laughed.
Tarzan asked "Why"?
The animals told him......... .."Your tail is in the front"

Last but not least
Secret of long life...
Morning two eggs, evening two pegs......and night between two legs…

Tomatoes

A woman's garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won't
ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and
she's getting tired of it.

So she goes to her neighbor and says, "Your tomatoes are ripe, mine
are green. What can I do about it?'' Her neighbor replies, "Well, it
may sound absurd but here's what to do. Tonight there's no moon. After
dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes
can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and blush. In the
morning they'll all be red, you'll see.''

Well, what the heck? She did as they adviced.

The next day her neighbor asks how it worked. "So-so,'' she answers,
"The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches
longer.''

Before and After Marriage Actions

Before and After Marriage Actions

BEFORE MARRIAGE!!!!

DICK : Ah..At last. I can hardly wait!
CLIT : Do you want me to leave?
DICK : No! dont' even think about it
CLIT: Do you love me?
DICK : Of Course! Always did and always will
CLIT : Have you ever cheated on me?
DICK : No!Why are you even asking?
CLIT: Will you kiss me?
DICK : Every chance I get!
CLIT: Will you hit me?
DICK : Hell no! Are you crazy?
CLIT: Can I trust you?
DICK : Yes
CLIT: Darling

AFTER MARRIAGE!!!

Read from the Bottom back to Top

Place of SUSU

Place of SUSU ------------ ------- In a party a lady wanted to go to the toilet badly. So she approached the host Santa and asked, "Where is your SUSU place, Please show me." Santa winked at the lady and said. "Yea, naughty girl, First you show me your SUSU place and then I will show you mine." ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... . SANTA-yaar tumne apni biwi ko talak kyu diya? BANTA-yaar wo badi characterless thi, Shadi mujse ki aur bacha bhagwan se mangti thi. ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... . Santa talking on phone. Banta: Kis se baat kar rahe ho? Santa: Biwi se. Banta: Itne pyar se...? Santa: Tumhari hai. ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... . Banta joins army, given AK 47. He's puzzled & asks Major: Sir, yeh bandook ki nali samne rakhun ya ulta? Major: Kisi bhi taraf rakho, faida desh ka hi hoga. ............ ......... ......... ......... ......... . With Love Rohit Singh

Doctor! Doctor!!

Doctor, the embarrassed man said, "I have a sexual problem. I can't get it up for my wife anymore.

"Mr. Thomas, bring her back with you tomorrow and let me see what I can do."

The next day the worried fellow returned with his wife. "Take off your clothes, Mrs. Thomas," the medic said. "Now turn all the way around. Lie down please. Uh-huh, I see. Ok, you may put your clothes back on."

The doctor took the husband aside. "You're in perfect health," he said. "Your wife didn't give me an erection, either."

SEX????

An Arab was interviewed at the US Embassy for a U.S.A.Visa
Consul : What is your name?
Arab : Abdul Aziz
Consul : Sex?
Arab : Six to ten times a week
Consul : I mean, male or female?
Arab : both male and female and sometimes even camels
Consul : Holy cow!
Arab : Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!
Consul : Man,........ isn't it hostile?
Arab :Horse style, dog style, any style
Consul : Oh.......... dear!
Arab : Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

Petrol

Parents having sex son says Dad whats up?
DAD: teri maa mein PETROL bhar raha hoon.
Son reply Dad maa ka Average check karo
abhi chacha bhi tank full kargae hai.

Who is a GYNACOLOGIST ?

Q : Who is a GYNACOLOGIST ?

Ans : The only FOOL in the

who finds PROBLEM in

Place where Others find PLEASURE.

Husband

A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. You will get your chance in court, said the Police officer. No, no no! said the man. I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I’ve been trying for years.

Some Jokes

Chuha Billi se darta hai,

Billi Kutte se darti hai,

Kutta Aadmi se darta hai,

Aadmi Biwi se darta hai,

Bwi Chuhhe se darti hai.!

Duniya Gol Hai..

------------ --------- --------- ---------

A small girl was approached by a stranger on the streets. The stranger asked her, "Could you please tell me where the post office is? Of course replied girl, just wal down this street and take the first left turn.

Thank you said the man. By the way, I am the new pastor of your town. Will you come to church every sunday? I can tell you how to go to heaven.

Oh come on! said the girl. "You don't even know how to go to the post office!"

------------ --------- --------- --

Teacher class mein monkey ke bare mein bata raha tha.



Santa was looking outside the class.



Teacher - Santa, look at me otherwise u will never understand how a monkey looks like

Some Sex Jokes

ट्रेन में पत्नी पती से बोली - आज हमारी शादी की सालगिरह है कुछ करो ना पती - तुमने देखा नही सामने क्या लिखा है?पत्नी - नही क्या?पती- लिखा है चलती ट्रेन में चढना मना है

एक बार एक छोटा बच्चा मस्ती करते करते अपने पैरेंट्स के कमरे में चला गया वहाँ पर उसने जो देखा वो देख के बच्चा चमक गया और जोर से चिल्लाया...मम्मी खुद को देखो और मुझे सिर्फ आंगूठा चूसने पे मारती हों

मल्लिका शेरावत ने केमिस्ट से पूछा - 15 इंच का कॉंडम है ?केमिस्ट - हाँ है ना कितने दू ?मल्लिका शेरावत - अभी नही , कोई उसे लेने आए तो मुझे कॉल करना

सरदार - ये रोज रोज कॉंडम लगाने का क्या चक्कर है, मै तो परेशान हों गया हूँ सरदारनी - तुम लेमिनेशन क्यू नही करवा लेते???


एक आदमी ने बडे ही मूड में वेटर से कहा यार वेटर एक सेक्सी चाय पिला दे ....वेटर - सॉरी सर लेकिन हमारे यहाँ चाय गाय के दूध की बनती है बिपाशा के नही

first Class in BED

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents - Meena First Class in Bed!

Light or Mombati

Ladies hostel warden calls electricity office & complains: Aaj to aadmi bhej do, ladkiyan 3 din se mombatti se kaam chala rahi hain

Ek Sawal

Ek sawaal: Duniya ka sabse mushkil kaam kya hai?
Jawaab: Soye huye pappu par condom chadhaana

Nevr Marry with Lady Traffic Police Officer

A man married a Lady Traffic police Inspector
Friend: How was ur first night?
Man: She charged Rs 100 from me for Overspeed,
200 for wrongside entry and Rs 500 for no helmet