Nonveg Joke of The Day - Santa Aur Bakri

Ek Din Santa Mele me Gaya.
Wahan 2 Line Lagi Thi. Ek Line ke Aage Likha Tha "Dekhne ke 20/- Rs."
Dusri Linke ke Aage Likha Tha "Karne ke 10/- Rs."
Santa Ne Karne ki Ticket Le Li.
Ander usko Karne ke Liye Bakri Di Gayi.
Santa Ne Paise Wasulne ke Liye Bakri ki Le Li.

Next Day, Santa ne Dekhne ki Ticket Li.
Santa Ne Aage wale Admi Ko Pucha -
Santa : "Kyu Bhai, Ye Kya Dikhayege?"
Admi : "Aaj ka To Pata Nahi, Kal Ek Sardar Ko Bakri Ki Lete Hue Dikhaya Tha!!!".
.
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Bechara Sata!!!

Gand Me Ungli????

Jab Santa Fauj Mein Tha To Uso Sharat Laganey Ki Bahut Buri Aadat Thi Aur Sabhi Us Se Preshan Rehte The.

Ek Din Santa Major Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola -

Santa : "Sir, Yeh Meri Aakhiri Sharat Hai, Aur Woh Main Aapke Sath Lagana Chahta Hun."

Major Khishi- Khushi Raji Ho Gaya, aur Bola- 

Major : "Bolo, Kya Sharat Hai?"

Santa : "Apko Bwaseer Hai".

Major : Main Sharat Lagata Hun Ke Nahi Hai".

Santa : "Main Ungli Daal Kar Check Karuga".

Major Khushi-Khushi Maan Gaya Aur Dono Me 5,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lag Gayi.

Santa Ne Major Ki "GAAND ME UNGLI" Daal Di.

Tabhi Bahar Se Jor Jor Se Rone Ki Aawaz Aane Lagi.

Major Pant Pehan Kar Bahar Gaya Aur Poocha-

Major : "Kya Hua?"

Staff : "Sir, Isne Humse 50,000/- Rs. Ki Sharat Lagai Thi Ki Major Ki Gaand Me Ungli Daal Ke Dikhaunga!"

.....aur Sardar Ji Fas Gaye

Sardar aur uski wife chalti car me hi chudaai ke mud me aa gaye.. Apne apne kapde utaare aur chalti gaadi me sex shuru kar dia..
Achanak car ka accident ho gaya.. Sardar buri tarah se crushed gaadi me fas gya, uski wife bahar nikal gayi,
sardar bola- preeto, ja bhag kar kahi se help ke liye kisi ko bula kar laa.
Prito- aise hi nangi kaise jau?
Sardar (sochne ke baad) - Ek kaam kar, meri pagdi Choot pe laga le, aur jute gaand pe laga le.
Prito ne aisa hi kiya aur waha se chali gayi, ek mechanic shop tak pahuchi aur ek admi ko boli…
Prito- Bhai saab plz meri help karo, Sardar ji bahut buri tarah se fase huye hain, unhe nikalne me meri help kijiye..wo buri tarah fase hain…
Worker prito ke aage lagi pagdi and piche jute dekh kar bola -
Worker- Madam wo to dikh hi raha hai kitni buri tarah fase hue hain, nikaalne me help to kar dunga, par pehle ye to batao ye pura andar ghuse kaise ???....

Non Veg Joke of the Day........

A lady made an advertisment in newspaper,-

"I want a man to be my partner..
Conditions 3..
1. He will not beat me,
2. He will not run away.
3 and most important.- He will have to satistfy me in beds,whenever i want.
10 inch will be good enough"


After some hour her door bell rang.
She opened door and saw a man on wheelchair who doesnt even have hands and forearms..

Lady- who are u?
Man- I was in army and lost my hands and one leg in battle..
Anyways i am here regarding your advertisement..
Lady- How can you fit in my conditions?
Man- Look i dont have hands and forearms, so i can't beat you...
I am not on my legs, so i can't run away..
Lady- Ok, but what about the 3rd condition? How wil u satistfy me? Do u have 10 inch big?
Man- What the hell with women's mind, can't you women use ur brain.
What the fuck you think, "That HOW THAT DOOR BELL RANG.."

what men would do if they had a vagina for a day

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and prayfor breasts too.
1. Finally find that damned G-spot.