Ek Shayar Ki Kahani

A very chodu shaayar made it to the marriage party of Nizam's daughter. He was behaving pretty well when some people asked him to say a sher. These people were expecting something nice from him when he started...

SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
SHER KAHE, SHAYARI KAHE YA GAYE KOI GANA
TERI NANI PAIR UTHAYE, CHODE MERA NANA !

People were shocked to hear this though this shayar had a famous background of telling some really gandu shayaris. But this being a Royal Marriage, people requested him to say something about the wedding. To humare shayar sahab ne farmaya...

KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...

People - WAH!, WAH, IRSHAAD, IRSHAAD !!!!

KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...
KYA HASEEN FIZZAA HAI INTAZAM KI...
CHUDEGI AAJ LAUNDI NIZAM KI.

People were really angry to hear this. (probably most of them were not like us). They started abusing and throwing stones at him. On this he again started...

AIYE DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...

This calmed people a bit.

AIYE DHARTI KE CHAAND SITARON...
MAA KE LAUDON, PATTHAR TO NA MARO

People went out of control this time and started beating and kicking him. He begged for mercy but they were not ready to listen to him anymore, so he finally stated.

GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE GAND MARLO HAMARI..
GARDISH MAIN HAI SITARE GAND MARLO HAMARI....
JAB BAHARE-CHAMAN MAIN HONGE, MAA CHOD-DENGE TUMHARI...

Rest is history. But the history stayed with him when he grew up. Ab jaahir hai ki aise chutiye ke prem me koi padega nahi. To yeh shayar Hyderabaad se Bombai pyaar ka chakkar chalane ke liye aaya.

Ek din usne ek achchhi ladki ko dekha. Ladki ka dhyaan kahi aur tha to shaayar sahaab ne wahi farma diya...
MUDHKAR ZARA IDHAR BHI DEKH ZAALIM
KE TAMANNA HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI
CHUT TERE PAAS HAI TO KYA
LUND HUM BHI RAKHTE HAI

You won't believe it. But the girl liked this shayri and she fell for him. Things went well for them for next few days lekin woh ladki kuch aage nahi badhne deti thi.
To ek suhane mousam pe humare dost ne use kahe hi dala...

DIL TO DIYA HAI TUJHE, PAR EK SHART LAGAYI HAI
LENI HAI WOH CHEEZ, JO TUNE TANGO ME CHHEEPAYI HAI

That was it! Ladki ek dam ruth gayi aur shayar se milna jhulna chhod diya. To shayar ki haalat bhi kharab ho gayi. Dost log bhi khairat puchhne chale aaye.

To cheer him up, they requested him to say a sher dedicated to her. So he goes...

BEDARD ZAMANA KYA JAANE
KYA CHEEZ JUDAAI HOTI HAI
HUM LUND PAKAD KAR BAITHE HAI
JABKI GHAR GHAR ME CHUDAI HOTI HAI

Yeh sunkar dost log hil gaye. Koi bola lund ko sambhalo. To koi kaheta hai ki agar lund ko pakad kar baitho ge to mutne kaise jaoge? To shayar bolta hai...

KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LUND YAHAN MUTNE-KO AATA HAI?
KOUN KAHETA HAI KI LUND YAHAN MUTNE-KO AATA HAI?
ARE WOH TO CHUT KI YAAD ME AANSU BAHANE AATA HAI

Yeh sun kar sab dost log aur bhi pareshaan ho gaye. Ek dost se to yeh suna bhi nahi gaya. To woh dost bolta hai ki mei kaise bhi karke teri darling ko waapis bulaunga.
Tere paas waapis aake tujh pe ek ehsaan karne khi bhikh mangooga.

Ab aap log to jaane ti ho ki yeh shayar log kitne independant hote hai. To humare shayar ko yeh ehsaan lene wali baat kuch pasand nahi aayi. To woh bola....

EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HUM TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI
EHSAAN KISI KA KYA LENA, HUM TO MUTH PE GUZAARA KARTE HAI
JAB BHI YAAD UNKI AATI HAI, OOTH OOTH DUBARA KARTE HAI

Mahebooba kabhi waapis nahi aayi. To uski yaad bhula ne ke liye wohi shaayar Delhi chala Gaya. Wahan jab Qutub Minar dekha to bola:

DEKH KE QUTUB MINAR, SHAYAR KA DIMMAG DODA
ASMAAN KO CHODNE CHALA DHARTI KA LAUDA

Is par Delhi police ki gaand mein khujli hui to usse pakad liya gaya aur court mein pesh kiya gaya. Jab Judge sahiba ne poocha "tumhe kuch kehna hai?" to woh bola:

AIYE SANAM, UTHA KALAM
MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
MUJHE KASAM HAI RABKI
MAA CHOD DOONGA SABKI...

On such a contempt of court, he was ordered to be hanged till death. When he was burried, the judge sahiba visited his grave. Needless to say she was very mad so she pissed on his grave.. Judge sahiba ke jane ke baad shayar ke bhoot ne ek arz farmaya...

WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PAR, AUR MUTT KAR CHALE GAYE
WO AAYE HUMARI KABAR PAR, AUR MUTT KAR CHALE GAYE
MUTNE KA TO BAHANA THA, WOH CHUT DIKHAKAR CHALE GAYE...